Have you ever been asked that question by a member of your family and then subsequently wanted to (and I apologise for the violent language) batter that family member until there is no way of them ever being able to ask you that question again? I get asked it all the time by almost every member of my family every time I see them; and it drives me mad.
What do they want me to say? “Oh yeah, everything’s absolutely perfect with me. Since the last time you asked me that question 5 MINUTES AGO, I’ve become unbelievably successful in my writing career; married the woman of my dreams; and we now fly around in my diamond-encrusted pug-shaped spaceship.” I mean what are they really expecting me to say?
I actually can not understand why people feel the need to constantly ask me ‘what’s going on with [me].” When I’m doing OK in life and i’m feeling like telling everyone how i’m doing; or that my life is going particularly well; i’ll tell you. But please stop pushing for an answer that isn’t there. Sometimes i’m not doing OK; sometimes I am feeling a bit shitty; and down in the dumps, maybe a bit depressed and sometimes I don’t feel like telling anyone how my life is going, when it isn’t necessarily going the direction in which I like it to. Give me some damn time, people.
One of the worst things to say to a person who is feeling a tad depressed, or down, or anxious is ‘Oh, just smile, it could be worse’. Because to that person, at that particular time in their life, it couldn’t be worse, that’s why they’re depressed, damn it. To that person, Their life is at its lowest point and they don’t want to talk to anyone, and especially don’t wish to be told to wear a false smile just to make people think they’re doing OK. OK yes, occasionally the thing to do in this situation might very well be to approach the person and ask them how it’s all going, this is OK because they may need some company. But if they don’t want to talk; or they don’t want interaction with anyone. Let them be. It takes time.
Until next time.